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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 195 (or parodies in the name of the Eld)
Someone catches you singing a song under your breath and asks, “Are you singing Addicted to Love?” You then explain that you were actually singing a Dark Tower-inspired parody song you thought up (but...
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Our level of the Dark Tower (or I cry your pardon…)
Long days and pleasant nights, avid reader! While, I won’t go so far as to say that I’ve forgotten the face of my father, I cry your pardon for this overdue post. Relatives from New York (not so fast,...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 196 (or workplace wordslinging)
Because you have been reading the Dark Tower books for a second time, you have had to force yourself (on several occasions) to not speak to people at your workplace in the diction of Mid-World in order...
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In an alternate universe: Event 16 (or “Harry Potter and The Crimson King”)
In an alternate universe, J.K. Rowling partners with Stephen King to write a Harry Potter novel in which it is revealed that the recently defeated Lord Voldemort was a servant of the Crimson King....
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 200 (or wisdom from Gilead )
When a person familiar with your reading habits recently stubbed their toe on a piece of furniture in your presence, uttering a curse in reaction to the pain, you respond by saying, “Ya know, ‘pain...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 201 (or RiffTrax and sparkling vampires )
When a friend tells you that they’ve reluctantly agreed to placate another friend by viewing all of the Twilight Saga films, you suggest that they decree a caveat to this arrangement in order to...
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In an alternate universe: Event 17 (or “Ghost-Busting Goodfellas”)
In an alternate universe, the directors and casts of the films Ghostbusters and Goodfellas swapped movie projects. This means that Martin Scorsese made a paranormal thriller called Ghostbusters (using...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 209 (or Demons and duels in “Downtown”)
When asked, “What are you reading?” you reply as follows: “A series of books called Sandman Slim, about a guy who gets transported to Hell while he is still alive, and has to to fight in a Hellion...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 214 (or ideal employment opportunities)
Recently, you were asked to identify your ideal career, which took all of your willpower to not answer as follows: “Preferably, I’d go with a line of work in time travel, but my second and third...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 229 (or Those are fighting words, sai.)
During a long phone conversation with an old friend, who often takes the opposing view to yours in a discussion, you find yourself defending the legitimacy of Skyfall as a Bond film, in which you go so...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 230 (or musical “nesting dolls” of the mind…)
While on your lunch break at work, you come to a startling realization. You not only have one song in your head, but several at the same time. These multiple tunes, competing for musical dominance,...
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In an alternate universe: Event 17 (or “Hey, kid… read the fine print.”)
In an alternate universe, the much-beloved story, Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus, which was Francis P. Church’s response to a girl’s 1897 query to the The New York Sun concerning the existence...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 233 (or “True Blood” and the necessity of...
While you have kept up with the HBO vampire drama True Blood since it first premiered, you have privately debated whether or not to discontinue viewing it each season, as it just seems to get more...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 238 (or “Is that a Kindle in your pocket or...
You often volunteer the number of novels you read last year when trying to impress someone in a dating situation, only to realize that half the time it makes you look as if you have no social life, and...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 241 (or “Bowfinger” did it first…)
Having read the first book and seen the first movie in the Twilight Saga, and loathed both with a passion, you have avoided the work of Stephenie Meyer and the subsequent film adaptations that have...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 242 (or “The Dark Tower” and interpersonal...
You have realized that how well you get along with a person seems to have a correlation between the ratio of how much that person likes Stephen King’s Dark Tower novels and how much that person...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 243 (or Intergalactic gladiatorial arenas...
You recently had a dream that you accidentally traveled through an Einstein-Rosen-Podolsky bridge (also known as an Einstein-Rosen bridge or “wormhole”) connecting two points in space-time. Upon...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 244 (or “Kneel before Neil!”)
Your knowledge of various mythologies (Norse, Greek, etc.) primarily comes from college classes and the works of Neil Gaiman. Tagged: books, comedy, comic books, fantasy, funny, graphic novels, How to...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 245 (or “Is that a terrifying, classic film...
The thought occurs to you that if your younger self from twenty years ago were suddenly transported in time to the present, the world would seem very both fascinating and a bit scary, just based on the...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 248 (or “You’ve got red on you…”)
A group of people you don’t know are conversing nearby, as you exit a building. You clearly overhear the phrase “lamb’s blood.” Though you are a bit alarmed at this phrase, and have no idea of the...
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